Born Again Babes

how infant development parallels the development of our faith

This article is part of the Claritas fall 2023 issue, Stages. Read the full print release here.

By: SE LEE

I have found that as a Cornellian it can be difficult to balance studying, friends, and Christ due to the constant prelim grind and never-ending temptations of partying and letting loose after a particularly stressful week. College is a time of change—learning how to live by yourself, making your own decisions, and most importantly, exploring your fundamental beliefs. Throughout my four years, I have found it difficult to devote time to building a deeper relationship with God, especially when surrounded by a community of non-believers. As I approach graduation, however, I have found myself reaching out more to God through attending church and Bible study, and it has provided me with a community of believers that inspire me to keep in my faith. 

My experience at Cornell reminds me of the conversion of Saul, who became the Apostle Paul. Born Jewish, Saul was considered to be a righteous man who had risen in favor of his people, the Pharisees. Desiring to see the fall of the Church, he persecuted of Christians and was blinded by evil and sin. He imprisoned men and women of the Church, and even approved the killing of Stephen, the first Christian martyr. It was not until Jesus spoke to Saul that Saul began to realize the true power of God. [1] Saul goes through stages of confusion and literal blindness until he accepts Jesus, which not only heals him, but also replenishes his body and helps him flourish as an apostle. 

Processes like these—whether coming to faith or returning to God—manifest themselves in stages parallel to those of babies gaining self-awareness and consciousness. A study at Emory University outlines the five levels of developing self-awareness: confusion, differentiation, situation, identification, and permanence. [2] As one of the most fundamental topics in psychology, self-awareness not only helps shape our individual personalities, but also how we perceive the world. 

It begins with confusion, the meandering dreams and feelings of hopelessness, loss and wandering. The early expectations for college life are often too optimistic. This is only realized once the excitement of move-in has settled down. In a culture centered around partying, hook-ups, and social media, it is easy to live the tempting life of a non-believer, but these worldly desires are merely a way for us to attempt to fill the God-shaped hole in our hearts, whether we acknowledge it or not. The desire to belong in a new environment such as college draws one closer to the community and wills them to follow its values. “Spilling the tea” and “stirring the pot” are socially acceptable ways of gossiping and meddling in the business of others, and they pave an easy road towards jealousy, rage, and arrogance—only three of many traits that Paul warns the people of Corinth against. [3] 

At first, it can be fun. This lifestyle is a simple way to mimic a close, intimate relationship with friends as a placeholder until an actual bond is formed, but soon it feels unpleasant, leaving an acrid taste on the tongue. Oftentimes, the values that matter the most, such as our faith and its relevance  to our every-day lives, are put aside to accommodate new friends. But in doing so, we create an inherent separation between our friends that cannot easily be mended. Values that were instilled in you growing up begin to be challenged, and, when not addressed, this causes stress and disorientation.

The acknowledgement of this change leads to the recognition of differentiation. This can be defined through someone who “picks up the fact that there is something unique about [their] experience.” [4] Someone may come to this realization by many avenues, whether it be because they are left unfulfilled by the party scene or because they crave relationships deeply rooted in shared beliefs and values. For many college students, it may come to fruition due to burnout and stress or mental health issues and crises. 

It was at this point in my experience that I acknowledged the need for change in my life, as well as recognizing that I was actually different from those with whom I surrounded myself. I began to feel guilty for not attending church on Sundays, even though none of my friends went. I found myself praying to God in my most desperate times, reaching out for comfort that could not be provided by my non-Christian friends. I was finally able to realize that the majority of my fundamental values were different from those of my friends. I found myself coping with stress and burnout in different ways, and I began to draw away from hookup culture, finding that it was no longer fulfilling to the extent that God is. I soon found myself facing hurdles that I could not overcome without changing my lifestyle. 

Having finally conceded to the God-shaped hole in my life, I was able to begin to fill that hole with experiences that resonated with my soul. In general, this can be seen through meditative or spiritual experiences such as journaling or getting in touch with nature, but for me, it started with attending worship nights held by Cru, one of the Christian fellowships on campus, and broadening my friendships to those in the Christian community. 

This stage of situation can be expressed in many different forms. For those who were non-believers before who would like to learn more about God, this can be shown through an introduction to Christ, through church or a Christian friend, a teacher, or even Christian literary texts besides the Bible such as works by C.S. Lewis or Timothy Keller. For those believers who long to grow in their faith, this situation can be seen through a return to prayer as an open-line of communication to God, reaching out to an old church, or reconnecting with other believers that they had grown apart in their years of separation from Christ. This step of situation is a transformation of how one views the world and their atmosphere. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” [5]

Through Him, I found rest and true relaxation by living within the framework of a Christ-centered life. Sure, prelims may be a burden, but that does not mean that they can ruin a beautiful day where a light breeze rustles the autumn leaves from their branches and the sun streams through like beams of glorious light, or my  sense of appreciation and thankfulness of leading a life that has been blessed with eternal salvation. This is because, as a believer, I know that I am not defined by my worldly successes. In the grand scheme of things, those things  don’t matter. My life is rooted in Christ. 

Through these experiences, our need for God becomes evident. It is at this point that some people can begin to realize that loving God is more than just going to church on Sundays and celebrating Christmas and Easter. It is about immersing every facet of our life in Him and trusting in His plan of our future. The acceptance of Jesus in our heart as our Savior brings forth a sense of purpose and renewal to our lives. It does not wash away just sin and shame, but the worry and anxieties over things that cannot be managed by anyone other than God. Interviews and applications will still remain nerve wracking, but faith creates a cushion of reassurance that, no matter what happens, it is all a part of a bigger plan—one that cannot be seen except by Him.

It is important to note that this stage of identification is not the same for everyone; the timing—the manifestation of loving and trusting God—looks different for every single person. For me, it was not so much as a coming to Christ as it was a return to Christ, so that the shift in my lifestyle was not drastically different from the Christian household I grew up in. For others, though, this shift may be a complete 180 of their previous lifestyle, which can make the transition more difficult, but that is why it is important to trust in God’s plan during these times of stress and woe.

The last stage of development is permanence. The person “manifests a sense of self… an entity that is represented as invariant over time and appearance changes.” [6] This includes walking with the Lord and living a Christian life that can be used as a beacon of light in others’ lives, leading them to Jesus. Joining a small group or a local church can spark intimate relationships and build a community of believers built on a foundation of faith, hope, and love. That is not to say that they should stop hanging out with their friends who do not believe, nor does that mean they cannot enjoy nights out. It merely means that they will live a life worthy of that which they have received. They should promote peace, patience, and thankfulness, not strife and complaint.

Matthew 5:16 says “... let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” We ought to live by example and be a beacon of light to everyone, in hopes that others will be inspired by the strength of faith and the ultimate happiness that stems from it. No one should be ashamed of their relationship with God, nor should they be arrogant due to His promise of eternal life and love. They should lead a life that draws in others, encouraging them to walk the same path with God. 

This article appeared in Claritas’ fall 2023 Stages Issue

Sources

[1] Acts 9 (NIV) 

[2] Rochat, Philippe. “Five levels of self-awareness as they unfold early in life” ScienceDirect. http://psychology.emory.edu/cognition/rochat/Rochat5levels.pdf

[3] 2 Corinthians 16:1-18 (NIV)

[4] Rochat, “Five levels of self-awareness”

[5] Matt. 11:28-30 (NIV)

[6]  Rochat, “Five levels of self-awareness”