Wrestling with Love: Discovering God in Struggle and Strife
What Boxing Has Taught Me about Falling in Love
Credit: Michelle Liu
BY MATT PANG
If I were to ask you how to fall in love with someone, you probably wouldn’t recommend engaging in a 10 round boxing match that lands both of you in the hospital. Funnily enough, I’ve recently stumbled upon a video that seems to suggest that very idea. In the video, Jim Lampley, a well-respected sports commentator, was interviewed ahead of the highly anticipated boxing match between Canelo Alvarez and Jermell Charlo. While the interview initially covered standard questions about the match, it took an unexpected turn when Lampley was asked about arguably the most brutal fight in modern boxing history: the battle between Micky Ward and future Hall of Famer Arturo Gatti. Lampley's response was nothing short of poetic and touching,
I always say to people, you’re gonna look at this and you’re gonna think, “this is brutality…” But through all of that, this is a story about love. This sport is about a unique form of passion, when you watch two fighters… seemingly try to kill each other for 12 rounds. Then the bell rings at the end of the 12th, and they fall into each other’s arms. That’s because at that moment, they are in love. They know more about each other than their mothers know…They share something that’s so intense and so secret that it’s their’s and only their’s… Remember, Micky and Arturo insisted on going to the hospital in the same emergency truck. At that point, they are brothers. [1]
This revelation left me wondering: How could two boxers, who seemingly tried to destroy each other in the ring, find companionship rooted in love? Lampley’s beautiful retelling of the Micky Ward and Arturo Gatti story led me on a path to reading Genesis 32:22-32 in a different light.
To summarize this narrative from the book of Genesis, one night, Jacob, a man who had lived a life of deceit, found himself alone and afraid of his brother Esau, whom he’d wronged by stealing his inheritance. Late at night, he encountered a mysterious man who wrestled with him until daybreak. This wrestling match was with no ordinary man; it was an experience with God that left Jacob forever changed. Jacob, with incredible determination, clung to God, refusing to release Him until he received a blessing. At the break of dawn, God finally dislocated Jacob’s hip. Despite the injury, Jacob persevered. He cried, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." In response, God changed Jacob’s name, which means “deceiver,” to Israel, meaning “he who strives with God.” Overwhelmed by his meeting with God, Jacob declared, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered." Thus, this encounter with God highlights the profound transformation that can come from such struggles. Jacob's story reminds us of God's grace, as He chose to bless Jacob despite his past deceit and wrongdoing.
The story of Jacob's struggle with God bears a striking resemblance to the birth of Micky Ward and Arturo Gatti’s love after their gruesome fight. Ward and Arturo faced death in the ring that night, yet curiously exited the ring in love with each other. They demonstrate that deep, loving relationships aren’t built on laughter, but rather on pain. In Jacob’s intense wrestling match with God, he somehow discovered God’s identity and gained understanding of His divine character before a single word was even spoken. Perhaps the best explanation for this discovery comes from the wisdom of Jim Lampley, “They are in love. They know more about each other than their mothers know…They share something that’s so intense and so secret that it’s there’s and only there’s.” At night, Jacob and God passionately fought, but by morning, Jacob walked away madly in love with his new divine friend.
Although I don't foresee many of us stepping into a professional boxing ring anytime soon, I’m certain that we will all butt heads with our peers from time to time. We often see this connection between conflict and friendship in our arguments. Arguments, even ugly ones, can become a catalyst for two people to reconcile and develop a deeper appreciation for one another. In addition, we can determine who our true friends are by examining how they treat us during times of anger, disagreement, and fear. From my own experience, I vividly remember having a huge argument with my pal Angus in high school, but amazingly, our relationship grew even stronger through our mutual effort and care for one another. As philosopher Mike Tyson once put it, identifying true friends “comes with time, sacrifice, enduring pain together, [and] suffering together.” [2]
Jacob’s story offers us a powerful metaphor for the path to falling in love with God. It tells us that meaningful connections will often be found in moments of strife. Just as Micky Ward and Arturo Gatti's brutal boxing match led to an unbreakable bond, we, too, can gain an everlasting friendship with God in the midst of our struggles. Here in Ithaca, we attend Cornell University, which fosters an academically struggling community. In our pursuit of knowledge and self-discovery, we find ourselves grappling with difficult questions and facing personal challenges. Jacob's experience displays that during times of adversity, God meets us where we are and loves us in ways we cannot comprehend. Brother Lawrence tells us, “Be satisfied with the condition in which God places you; however happy you may think me, I envy you. Pains and sufferings would be a paradise to me while I should suffer with my God, and the greatest pleasures would be hell to me if I could relish them without Him.” [3] Moreover, not only did God Himself descend in human form to wrestle with Jacob, but also through the person of Jesus Christ, He lovingly died on the Cross: the ultimate symbol of human suffering. During hard times, God loves us with the hope that we love Him in return.
To conclude, true love, whether for a classmate or for God, is often found in trials and tribulations, in moments when we strive with all our might. So, when we find ourselves in challenging times at Cornell, whether it's during prelim season or a quarrel with a friend, I hope that we can confront our problems with both God and others, maintaining humble and open hearts. Jacob's wrestling match is a reminder that God’s heart longs to wrestle with us, to bless us, and to love us, especially in our moments of weakness.
SOURCES
Genesis 32:22-32
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyOUciXuVgm/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Brother Lawrence. Practice of the Presence of God. 1692, p. 40.