The Beauty of Christian Community in My Life

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BY jaden lau

Home- Home is where a person finds belonging, whether a place or a community. Home is where a person finds comfort. In a community setting, home is where a person feels cared for and can openly care for others.

Based on my personal experiences, this is my definition of ‘home.’ Finding a ‘home’ is what I’ve treasured, what I search for and long for. I have been deeply seeking a true home throughout most of my life. But I only very recently found a home that I feel belonged.

Growing up, I had tremendous social anxiety. Throughout my elementary school years, I was so shy that I could barely talk in public. Even saying hi was a struggle. I had a fear of people and felt like they would judge me for what I said. I felt very lonely. For the most part, I was only close to my family and was left out of my fellow peers’ activities. Due to my social inabilities, I felt like an imposter who doesn’t belong. I felt as if I was living in my own world, with barely anyone who I can share my thoughts and feelings with or who cared for me. Ultimately, I was disconnected and homeless.

Furthermore, I became very sick and tired of being lonely. I ultimately forced myself to interact with my peers and try to make friends. I pushed boundaries to make this happen. Through middle school and into high school, I successfully made some friends. I did this out of necessity and did not want to be left out. I was actively looking for a home, people who I can fit well with. In these friendships, I had some fun, but didn’t feel a sense of belonging. I would ‘hang out,’ but these relationships were often very surface level, that I would force myself to be a certain way. This ‘home’ was not what I was looking for, I wanted to be myself.

I grew up in the church. Even though I was involved in children’s programs including Sunday school and Vacation Bible School, church did not have much meaning for me. I only attended as a duty. Sometimes, I even try to ditch fellowship, thinking that it is a waste of time. I’d rather focus on homework than church. Church was not a priority.

It was only very recently that I discovered the beauty of the church and church as ‘home.’ At the end of my high school junior year, I got to know a devoted Christian. With him, I saw something different, unique about him and his actions. In our relationship, I felt deeply loved and cared for. He would guide me as I tried out the worship team, drive me home from church, and would express genuine care for my personal and spiritual well-being. This is the most care I have ever felt from a friend. I became much more interested in the church and felt a bigger sense of personal connection with it. The love and care shown in Christianity became so evident.

The themes of ‘home’ and ‘community’ are very strong in my testimony. In 2022, God powerfully called me to a mission trip to Oaxaca, Mexico. I chose to follow God’s calling, but did not know the purpose until well into the trip. At Oaxaca, God showed me the magnificent beauty of His kingdom. The team visited indigenous tribes in the forests and mountains, where we shared our faith and experienced the beauty of how they worshiped. Ultimately, I experienced the love and overflowing of God in the brothers and sisters in my team. They helped me grow tremendously in my faith and gave valuable spiritual advice. Through this mission trip, I believe God was showing me the beauty of Christian friendships and how they differentiate from non-Christian friends. Church is where I belong, it contains the community I need. That’s why God called me to Oaxaca.

Currently, at Cornell University, I am firmly engaged in the Christian community through fellowships like Asian American InterVarsity, Christian Union, Cru and El Amor Del Senor. It is the community that I’m comfortable in and closely identify with. I regard this community as ‘home’ and it plays a large role in strengthening my faith.

Moreover, community is a problem for the church. Recent research finds that being connected to a ‘community’ is one of the biggest challenges facing the church and is contributing to a decrease in church attendance. According to The Great Dechurching by Jim Davis and Michael Graham, one of the biggest reasons for people leaving church was that “My friends were not attending.” [1] This is 18% of this group! They think because their friends aren’t attending, there isn't a reason for them to. Christianity doesn’t bring them career, social standing or credibility benefits.

Despite this, there’s hope. Half of the dechurched “are actively willing to return to an evangelical church” [2] and almost none of them have completely ruled church out. One of the biggest keys is COMMUNITY. Some people just need a nudge. But many people “need consistent, real-world, and increasingly close friendships to be drawn back to the church.”

Similarly, if it wasn’t for my close friendship with the Christian friend, I may be much more distant from the church than where I’m at now. Bolstered by Christian friendships, my faith blossomed. Interpersonal relationships and community are essential for Christian growth and bringing back the dechurched. These relationships are ultimately what makes church HOME.

SOURCES

[1][2] Davis, Jim, Collin Hansen, Michael S. Graham, and Ryan P. Burge. The great dechurching: Who’s leaving, why are they going, and what will it take to bring them back? Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Reflective, 2023.