Grappling with Gratitude
BY Yoska Guta, yale ’25
Never once have I heard someone say that they struggle with having too much gratitude or that they excessively appreciate the good things in life. For many of us, in fact, the struggle is quite the opposite. In reality, it doesn’t actually take much effort to identify the positive parts of one's life. Yet for some reason, humans seem to find it much easier to fixate on the negative aspects of life. Our complaining, at times, even goes unnoticed to us, rolling off our tongues like the lyrics of a catchy tune we mindlessly sing while zoning out. Whether in extended conversations over meals, brief run-ins on the streets, or in our text messages, complaining has become so common that hearing someone express contentment or satisfaction can feel terribly convicting.
Grumbling isn’t unique to our contemporary society, however. Looking into the Old Testament book of Numbers, we find that Israelites, the chosen people of God, also shared in this unfortunate pattern. After 400 years of slavery, God freed the Israelites from captivity in Egypt and, under the leadership of Moses, commissioned them to journey to the promised land.
But, having found themselves in the wilderness, the barren place that lay between their former captivity and the hope ahead, the people of Israel frequently failed to trust God, questioning His sovereignty on more than ten occasions. [1] In one particular instance, they grew impatient with the length of the journey and “spoke against God and against Moses, ‘Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we detest this miserable food.’” [2].
There are a few issues with Israel’s charges against God in this situation. Principally, they somehow complain that they both have no food and also that the food they have is miserable. This food they seemingly find so detestable is the manna that God sent from heaven to nourish them. Rather than showing gratitude for this display of grace and generous resource, Israel blatantly rejects it, even to the extent of saying that it is as if they have no food at all.
The second issue lies in their refusal to trust in God to sustain them. When Pharaoh refused to release the Israelites in Exodus, it was God who worked miraculously through Moses to set them free. [3] When Pharaoh and his soldiers chased the Israelites to the Red Sea, seeking to bring them back into captivity, it was God who split the sea, allowing all of Israel to pass through to safety before drowning their opponents in the waters. [4] Up until this point in Numbers, it is God who has graciously led them by pillars of clouds and fires and sustained them with manna and water. Yet, time and time again, they grumble of how it would have been better for them to remain in Egypt than to die in the wilderness. It should be noted, however, that none of the Israelites' deaths in the wilderness were due to a lack of God’s provisions, but rather they were a result of the punishments they acquired from their disobedience and ungratefulness.
You see, the issue wasn't just that the Israelites were fearful about surviving the wilderness, but that they were arrogantly charging God with not being worthy of their trust. They were boldly and repeatedly claiming that slavery was better than freedom—that suffering under Egyptian masters—the same Egyptian masters they cried out to God to free them from—was better than following their own God into the promised blessing of a new land.[5] Such a complaint was deeply offensive to God’s heart, and it was immensely inconsiderate to all that He had—and was—doing for them.
This distrust in God is even more troubling when we consider that just moments before this, Israel was asking God for victory against the Canaanites who had fought them and taken some of their people captive. In response to Israel’s plea for aid and favor, God answers and acts on their behalf, ultimately allowing Israel to walk away victorious. Yet, even after God’s display of support, in their impatience, Israel returns to grumbling against God, instead of giving Him the worship He is rightfully due.
But Israel isn’t the only one who is prone to doing this. As believers, journeying towards the eternal promised land, at times, many of us have thought in our hearts and minds that life would be much easier if we weren’t Christian—if we could go back to being free to do whatever we wanted. When faced with career setbacks, unexpected loss, persecution, betrayal, redirection, etc. we’ve been inclined to doubt God’s faithfulness, choosing instead to gratify our fleshly desires. Yet, the reality is that—much like Israel—the Egypt that we sinfully entertain in moments of trial or weakness is not as free and fulfilling as we may think it to be.
In the midst of life, with all the pain and grief it brings, it can be difficult to hold fast, to have faith in the midst of a raging storm. But this is why we are so frequently commanded, as “those whom the Lord has redeemed, [to] proclaim that He redeemed [us] from the hand of the foe,” and to “offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving and tell of His acts with shouts of joy.” [6] This is also why the Gospels and so many of the New Testament letters seek to remind us, several times over that it is by “grace [that we] have been saved through faith, and this is not [our] own doing; it is the gift of God,” much like the promised land was to Israel. [7]
So, both in this Lenten season and beyond, let us not be inconsistent in our worship, praising God with one breath and doubting Him with the next. Rather, let us be a people of enduring and maturing faith, one that remains steadfast in a place of thanksgiving as we remember the grace of God, the redeeming sacrifice of Christ, and the refining work of the Spirit.
SOURCES
[1] GotQuestions.org. “What Were the Ten Times That Israel Refused to Trust and Obey
(Numbers 14:22)?” GotQuestions.Org, Got Questions Ministries, 4 Jan. 2022,
www.gotquestions.org/ten-times-Israel-tested-God.html.
[2] Numbers 21:5
[3] Exodus 7-11
[4] Exodus 14
[5] Exodus 3:7
[6] Psalm 107: 5, 22
[7] Ephesians 2:8