Cornell Claritas: A Journal of Christmas Thought Part II

A space for Claritas contributors to write freely on the subject of Christmas

Abigail Gordon, Contributor

Favorite Christmas Memory: Discovering Michael Bublé

During the holidays most families gather and share happy memories. Actually, every family does. Every. Single. Family… except MINE. While other families are melting away in the warm smell of Christmas - every breath gingered with holly and jolly, my family was slapping me across the face with a Christmas memory that always left a funky taste in my mouth, like your grandma’s mystery fruit cake. Normally I wouldn’t touch this memory with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole, but, in the spirit of giving I’ll recall the tale I’ve titled, When You Give A Christmas Squirrel an Ice Cream Cake:

I was in 7th grade, still innocent to the pubescent horrors that awaited me in my teen-hood. It was a few days after Christmas and I was receiving what all knew to be God’s greatest gift (second the Jesus)… turning thirteen. I was enjoying my special day; I was eating good food, partying, and unwrapping presents. I should’ve known it was too good to be true. My parents surprised me with an ice cream cake, and to say I was surprised was an understatement. Don’t get me wrong, it was glorious in all its frozen and creamy glory, but disgust spread through my stomach faster than the Freshman Flu with every glance I took at that cake. By the time I gained control of my body again the cake was half melted, and as my stomach churned I contemplated three things: Do I eat ice cream cake with a spoon or a fork? How do they put ice cream over the cake? And should I look into getting adopted, because how do my birth parents forget their firstborn is lactose intolerant!? (I was still new to the concept of hormones at 13, but to this day I’m pretty sure it was the hormones’ fault my cake was made of ice cream and not actual cake. Some call it coping, but I know it’s just common sense).

At this point my ice cream cake spent so much time staring at me it started to look more like ice cream soup. My parents decided to put it outside on our backyard porch to freeze in the Illinois cold. We could’ve used a fridge, but I think my dad’s hormones told him it’d be cooler to refreeze the cake outside. To pass the time I declared a family game night while the cake froze. We played monopoly – or rather, we tried. Turns out the 11yr old banker claiming to be your “loyal” sister, can be easily bribed by your parents. We also played Caribbean Scrabble, which allowed for my dad to make new rules and words, and steal other people’s pieces when they weren’t looking. And naturally we attempted Uno and Dora Explorer Chutes and Ladders (if it wasn’t the Dora version you’ve never truly played Chutes and Ladders), but, if you know anything about my family, you know they’re a bunch of dirty cheaters so the games were all rigged. I would never cheat though, and am definitely not a sore loser...

Anyways, my hormones started tingling and told me the cake was ready. As I was opening the slide door to go outside, I saw the Devil himself. Long tail, beady eyes, and fangs – my family will tell you it was a pack of squirrels, but it was definitely the Devil - it had to be, because it was eating MY cake, and everyone knows squirrels don’t eat ice cream cake. I don’t know how those demons opened the hard plastic and got to the cake, but they rubbed their enjoyment in my face. You can’t cry at 13, but my hormones had other plans. I wept as my cake, my future, and my right of passage to 13 were destroyed. Granted, I wasn’t going to eat the cake anyways, but it’s not about the cake it’s about the principal!

I’ll be continuing the 8 year hunt for those thieves while you enjoy the holidays, but please, whatever you do, have a happy holiday and DON’T Give a Christmas Squirrel an Ice Cream Cake.

Joaquin Rivera, Editor-in-Chief

Favorite Christmas Movie: Home Alone 2

I don’t know if anyone has ever heard of Epic Rap Battles of History, but you should. It’s a series of youtube videos that basically pit figures from history or fiction against each other in a rap battle. It’s really good and I will probably binge them all soon. Anyway, there is one in particular where the battle is Moses vs Santa Claus, and Moses has this line that pops up into my head randomly. It goes “You [Santa] took the Christ out of Christmas, and added more mass.” It’s just always sat with me because it's so facts. Being the Claritas writers we are, we should all seek to be counter cultural and make sure that Christmas really is centered on Christ. 

Kailyn Liu, Contributor

Favorite Christmas Song: O Holy Night 

One Christmas-related tradition that fascinates me is “Christmas in July.” This summertime “holiday” has a humorous tone because many of the trappings of Christmas, such as Santa Claus and songs like “Jingle Bells,” celebrate the winter season and therefore feel out of place in July (at least in the Northern Hemisphere). From what I’ve seen, the July celebrations usually don’t involve the Christian aspects of Christmas, but I think they can be a wonderful reminder to rejoice in the birth of Jesus throughout the year and see how it is relevant in all places, at all times, for all people. Consider how Christmas hymns like “Joy to the World” and “Come Thou Long Expected Jesus” have a timeless –and season-less– appeal; they inspire wonder at how Jesus is God of all creation yet willingly humbled himself by not only living a human life, but one in poor, less-than-ideal circumstances. These songs also point to Jesus’ return at the end of the age, which Christians are called to continually prepare for. Christmas in July should be fun, but it need not only be a joke holiday; it can be a reminder that the good news of Jesus, and the everlasting joy He brings, is worth celebrating in any season.