Caritas at the Crossroads
An Exploration of Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday
BY MATT PANG
This year, Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday will interestingly coincide on February 14th. At first glance, this convergence may seem odd; Valentine’s Day, a highly commercialized holiday to celebrate the love shared between two people, and Ash Wednesday, a solemn, holy day that marks the beginning of Lent (A period in the Christian calendar that commemorates Jesus’ 40 days of fasting). On the surface, the two events seem to contradict each other, but I would argue that the two holidays are connected by their shared quest for caritas.
To begin, Valentine’s Day has always puzzled me, not because I’m a hopeless romantic, but because of its underlying essence. From my own understanding, couples all over the world (I’m not jealous) use the day to celebrate their caritas by purchasing expensive gifts and spending fortunes on extravagant dinners. But this begs the question, is this caritas? Is this love?
Caritas, or agape in Greek, translates to charity: a sacrificial love that seeks nothing in return. Furthermore, in the Book of 1 John, the author explores this virtue even further and boldly proclaims, “God is love,” or Deus caritas est in Latin. Therefore, Christians believe that love (caritas) is not merely an attribute or facet of God’s character, but fundamentally who He is.
But is this divine virtue of caritas what Valentine’s Day actually celebrates? Well, let’s see. On February 14th, we indulge in incredible materialism with the hopes that our purchases will be profound demonstrations of love. Moreover, after showering a loved one with gifts and affection, a sense of entitlement to receive something in return often emerges, almost resembling a transaction.
Conversely, Ash Wednesday and the Lenten season as a whole, are generally misconstrued as a period of ‘giving stuff up’, which in my opinion calls for a more accurate and profound understanding rooted in caritas. According to Catholic theologian and author G.K. Chesterton, “Every act of will is an act of self-limitation. To desire action is to desire limitation. In that sense every act is an act of self-sacrifice. When you choose anything, you reject everything else.” [2] To put it plainly, the heart of Lent is not arbitrary sacrifice, but rather the radical decision to exclusively choose God and subsequently limiting yourself from all else. It's an intentional time of service or caritas to God.
You must be thinking, “Matt, I still don’t understand how Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday are remotely related.” Well, it’s like I mentioned before: The two are on a quest for the virtue of caritas, but I believe Valentine’s Day misses the mark due to its misguided faith. Rather than placing faith in caritas, or God Himself, we place our faith in the transaction: the presents we give and receive. The tangible objects of this world have become the bedrock of our relationships. But, how have we allowed such a materialistic ideology to become synonymous with love? How have we transformed a day meant to symbolize one's devotion to one another into a glorified transaction? The theologian St. Augustine of Hippo may have an answer:
The gaze of the soul is Reason; but since it does not follow that every one who looks, sees, that right and perfect looking, which is followed by seeing, is called Virtue, for Virtue is rectified and perfected Reason. But that very act of looking, even though the eyes be sound, cannot turn them toward the Light unless… Faith — by which the soul believes that, that toward which the gaze has been directed, is such that to gaze upon it will cause blessedness…and Love — which is the soul’s longing to see and to enjoy it. Such looking is followed by the vision of God Himself, who is the goal of the soul’s gaze, not because it could not continue to look, but because there is nothing beyond this on which it can fix its gaze. [3]
Thus, because of our impaired vision or flawed reason, we’ve made a devastating mistake that has led us to believe that the transactions we share will save our relationships, and maybe even worse, determine our value as people. Instead, we must have faith in order to obtain a perfect gaze or view of who and what love truly is. But what is faith, you ask? In the words of theologian and professor Frederick Lawrence, “Faith is the eyes of being in love with God.” [4] To put it simply, in order to earnestly love our spouse or partner, it’s imperative that we fall in love with God first. Then and only then, may we experience transcendent caritas in our romantic relationships.
So, what does caritas look like in the real world? Caritas might manifest as cooking a homemade meal for your significant other or perhaps writing a genuine, heartfelt letter. While there's nothing inherently wrong with purchasing gifts for your partner, it's important to remember that these material possessions do not define your love or worth. That being said, whatever form your act of caritas takes, I implore you to keep in mind Jesus Christ, the embodiment of caritas; the man who sacrificed his life solely for our benefit. With Christ in your hearts, may your intentions be focused on the flourishing and joy of your partner alone.
To conclude, I find Valentine's Day to be representative of the human condition. We all yearn for loving acceptance, yet continually embrace the incoherent philosophies and broken tools of this world to obtain it. Hence, my prayer is that regardless of whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or observe Ash Wednesday, we all actively engage in caritas with Jesus Christ at the center of our hearts.
SOURCES
[1]: 1 John 4:16
[2]: G.K. Chesterton. Orthodoxy. 1908, p. 70.
[3]: St. Augustine of Hippo. Soliloquia. 386 AD, p. 30.