I KISSED FALSE TEACHINGS GOODBYE

While the phrase “ruined my life” might seem like an exaggerated response to such an incident, Taylor’s frustration actually mirrors my own experiences. A church I attended in high school “ruined” my life by using false teachings from a book written by Joshua Harris called I Kissed Dating Goodbye to remove relationships (and relationship opportunities) from the congregation, including one of my own. The church became “defunct” after having spent years diverting resources away from event management, event promotion, and generation of tithes and instead using resources to fracture relationships in the church. After causing the church to become defunct, four of the five major leaders left the state (and all five refused to discuss reparations for those who they had so negatively influenced). This article will track the course of false teachings: from the time they enter the church, through the time they could potentially harm the congregation, and to the time for Christians to use specific strategies to rectify the problems that false teachings cause.

The Southern Baptist Convention, the largest evangelical denomination in the U.S., claims in its doctrinal statement that the Bible is “totally true and trustworthy.” [2] If Christians believe the Bible to be the only inerrant source of Truth, they would most likely respond negatively to the idea that members of a congregation formed an understanding of God and Christianity using a book external to the Bible. Regardless of this belief, many American churches still use extra-biblical sources to teach and guide their congregations. Imagine the ways these churches might react to the suggestion that they are teaching and acting based on books with incorrect information. “How could something like that happen?” you ask. Well, churches might have accidentally used books with false teachings because they believed that the author had spoken truth before (or because they already have substantial respect within Christian circles). Some churches might use these books because of their novelty, often before the author has the chance to receive feedback. And, sometimes, these books are used because the topic contains several “moving parts'' and complicated issues that unwittingly mislead the congregation enough for the church to openly teach the false content or implement its moderate teachings incorrectly. Explanations like these are often used to justify the teaching of these books, even if serious falsehoods fill its pages or if its teachings are disgracefully used to enforce policies that negatively influence the lives of a congregation. 

One might ask what this situation shows us about our relationship with Scripture. Sometimes, we focus so much on wanting to seem like good Christians that we cannot confront a false teacher lest we appear uninformed or ridiculous. Sometimes, we accept everything our pastor says as absolute truth (much to God’s dismay and to the dismay of the secular world, who deem it off-putting when Christians place blind faith in the policies and ideas of pastors and church leaders). This opposition to our “blind faith” in pastors and the Church is biblically justified. Although God calls some to be leaders of the Church and commands believers to hold fast to their teaching, we are also warned in 1 John 4:1 to “not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

For every church enamored with I Kissed Dating Goodbye or any other extra-biblical book, the book serves as a sign about their relationship with the Truth—a sign about their relationship with God. Rather than focusing on the word of God and the spiritual development and well-being of its congregation, churches using books like this teach ideas and implement policies that negatively influence and harm their congregation, manipulating their understanding of Christianity into something contrary to God's word.  

False teachings are barriers against joining the faith—and thus have a significant impact in the lives of non-Christians. If Christians act with no credibility, we represent ourselves as unable to tell truth from fiction (or worse, people who have no desire to tell truth from fiction). Many non-Christians consider joining a church or otherwise have openness to doing so—but then recognize that many Christian teachers “get away with” profiting from nonsensical teachings, contradicting the Bible, and lacking accountability.

Although we know that false teachings will not just miraculously disappear, we as Christians have not just agency, but the responsibility, to respond in accordance with the Bible. We do not need to accept, ignore, or laugh at false teachings. Instead, we have the ability to point out errors and even rebuke false teachers (2 Timothy 4). Furthermore, the Bible empowers us to command false teachers to stop spreading their incorrect messages (1 Timothy 1). Even Jesus himself rebuked hypocritical “blind guides” in Matthew 23. The Bible urges us to silence false teachers, allows us to feel anger towards them, and tells us to expose them (Titus 1, Ephesians 5). While this exposure might help prevent people from believing the lies of a false teacher in the future, its true value lies in the change that it can bring to the hearts and minds of those who first believed in the false teachings.

“Don’t act like you don’t know when you do know” and “do not accept the unacceptable” are two policies from the “Spiritual Code of Conduct” speech Iyanla Vanzant presented at a conference called Essence that help us determine how to react to false teachings. [4] While few people have a problem deeming false teachings as “unacceptable,” most people do not seek or implement legitimate consequences to those in the church who have taught these false teachings. We know that false teaching should have consequences, and yet we choose to avoid confrontation and instead elect to remain comfortable. 

In the past, I myself violated the first of these two policies when it came to the churches who “ruined lives” in justifying policies that stemmed from discussing I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I said to myself, “I don’t understand why those churches won’t go back and fix what they’ve done.” And I even thought, “I’m not sure why people wouldn’t want those churches to go back and fix what they’ve done.” In reality, I did know why, and chances are you know too. These churches harmed their congregations by implementing false teaching from extra-biblical texts, but if people confront these false teachers about what they’ve done, the likely response is one of denial or retaliation. The motives of the confronters will be called into question, and perhaps even false accusations will be made. 

who agreed with the book’s policies. This response to my “confronting behavior” about their false teachings decreased the probability that I would engage in the behavior of confronting church members about false teachings in the future. The aforementioned “operant conditioning” concept describes the process: behavioral change (reduction in my behavior of confrontation) resulted from the response (slandering me).

Although the Spiritual Code of Conduct, the operant conditioning concept, and the “law of effect” are all helpful for better understanding, the Bible remains the best source to use when confronting people about false teachings. Scripture tells us that discernment can help us avoid lies and focus on the truth. James 1 urges us to ask God for wisdom, Ephesians 5 commands us not to let others deceive us, and several chapters (such as 1 John 4, Romans 12, and 1 Thessalonians 5) of the Bible mention “testing” teachers about the accuracy of their content. 

such as Kenneth Copeland and Paula White. [7] The fourth characterization, the “abuser,” needs no explanation as the false teacher blatantly exploits their role in the church at the expense of others. The fifth characterization, “divider,” means that a false teacher might use a lesson or sermon with the underlying intention of disrupting or dividing a church congregation. Challies refers to the “tickler,” a sixth characterization of false teachers, as someone who merely tickles the ears of the church by teaching “acceptable” or watered down parts of the Bible. The seventh characterization, the “speculator,” refers to a false teacher who has an obsession with novel ideas, trivial matters, or original end-time prophecies. 

In Hebrews 13, Paul commanded us not to get “carried away” by strange teachings. He noted that these strange teachings offer us no benefit. Many false teachers offer strange teachings by focusing on pleasing people or avoiding difficult and unpleasant truths, like abuse, pride, premarital sex, and God’s wrath, while others implement additional policies, like high schoolers not being allowed to date, that kissing must be saved for marriage, or that additional tithing will save you. When identifying these false teachings, compare the views of the teacher in question with the views of God, as indicated in the Bible. Do the teacher’s views of relationships differ from God’s views? Do the teacher’s views of salvation differ from what Jesus taught? Upon noticing significant differences between the teachings of a human pastor and the teachings of Jesus, take action by asking God for discernment and by using lenses such as the seven characterizations of a false teacher to determine whether Truth is being taught, not just by religious teachers, but also by those of outside the church, such as politicians, those representing media outlets, and other public figures.

As Christians, we must wisely discern what teachings we allow to influence a church congregation. False teaching is a serious issue in the church, and outside of it, and it is not something to be taken lightly or ignored. It is our responsibility and calling as believers to recognize the power God has granted us through Scripture to identify and respond to false teachings, as well as to love and bring aid to those who have fallen victim. We must take action today by using tools such as the aforementioned techniques to connect people to the Truth as indicated in the word of God and prevent false teachers from continuing to keep people from the body of Christ, the true Church. We must, in other words, kiss false teachings goodbye.

SOURCES

The Bold and the Beautiful, directed by William J. and Lee Phillip Bell. 1987; Los Angeles: CBS, television.

[1] Southern Baptist Convention, “On Biblical Scholarship And The Doctrine Of Inerrancy.” 2012. https://www.sbc.net/resource-library/resolutions/on-biblical-scholarship-and-the-doctrine-of-inerrancy/ 

[2] Joshua Bote. “He wrote the Christian case against dating. Now he's splitting from his wife and faith.” USA Today, 29 July 2019. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/07/29/joshua-harris-i-kissed-dating-goodbye-i-am-not-christian/1857934001/.

[3] Danielle Young. “Iyanla Vanzant: The Do's And Don'ts Of Getting Yourself A Spiritual Code Of Conduct,” Essence Magazine (2017). https://www.essence.com/festival/2017-essence-festival/iyanla-vazant-empowerment-speech/

[4] Saul McLeod, “What Is Operant Conditioning and How Does It Work?” Simply Psychology, 2018, https://www.simplypsychology.org/operant-conditioning.html. 

[5] Tim Challies, “7 Sure Marks of a False Teacher.” Challies.com, 2017. https://www.challies.com/vlog/7-sure-marks-of-a-false-teacher/. 

[6] Julia Duin. “The Christian Prophets Who Say Trump Is Coming Again,” Politico (2017). https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/02/18/how-christian-prophets-give-credence-to-trumps-election-fantasies-469598