Easter 2019 Diary: Good Friday


Dear Diary,

Today, I went to the gym for the second time all semester. If you know me, that’s phenomenal. I was tired and second guessing myself. But as I entered the moist room and accidentally got slapped by a girl’s sweaty ponytail, I woke up — from more than just last night’s sleep.

Today is Good Friday, the day my Lord died on the cross. This somber thought stayed on my mind throughout my visit to the gym.

I climbed onto the treadmill and set it on a steep incline. My heart started pounding heavily. I wasn’t used to it. I realized that in the last few months, my heart had only pounded vaguely like this because of exams, achievements, friends and family events. These things are all great, but I missed the breathtaking feeling of remembering God’s love for me again and feeling my heart seem to burst with his love.

When I was stretching after the treadmill, I felt the tightness of my legs and the slow ripping of muscles. It hurt, but I needed it. I also felt a tightness in my chest, but I couldn’t stretch it in the same way. I realized I needed God to be the one in my heart to warm it with his peace and steadiness. This was something I couldn’t do on my own.

I felt sorry for bending the knee at the feet of worldly gains instead of falling on my knees before my Lord. I felt guilty because of all the times I had tried to do things on my own and failed to feel satisfied instead of recognizing God’s solution, asking for his help and running into his arms. My water bottle full of grimy fountain water that I eagerly chugged from was not what I needed. I needed His living water to flow through me and renew me once more. I needed his love again.

So, thank you Jesus for what you did. I’m so sorry for the people like me who nailed you to that cross so many years ago, today. It breaks my throbbing, ripping, out-of-breath heart, and yet I come to you hoping you will mend it again.

Sincerely, Me


This series is based on excerpts from a fictional Claritas diary that reflect on the meaning of Easter.

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